Delaying Tech Doesn’t Have to Feel Lonely - how to find your slow-tech community and stay grounded in your values
If you’ve ever been told you’re “too strict” for holding off on giving your child a smartphone…
If your kid says, “I’m the only one who doesn’t have social media!”...
If you’ve felt like the last parent on Earth still using a basic phone or trying to talk about screen time...
Pat yourself on the back - You’re doing the right thing!
The Digital World Is Moving Too Fast
In 2024, the average American checked their phone 205 times per day.
That’s once every five minutes.
And it’s not because we’re weak-willed; it’s because tech companies have engineered their platforms to override self-control, maximize engagement, and keep us (and our kids) hooked.
At the same time, the pressure on children to be constantly online, constantly performing, constantly available—it’s exhausting. And it’s starting younger every year.
By 10 years old, many kids are already:
Curating selfies
Asking for TikTok or Snapchat
Trying to decode the unspoken rules of digital popularity
It’s no wonder anxiety, depression, and loneliness are on the rise.
But Here's the Good News…
You’re not the only parent who wants to slow down tech!
Why Support Systems Matter
When you’re going against the grain, by delaying smartphones, setting boundaries, skipping social media until later, it can feel lonely. But you are not the only one.
There are thousands of parents doing exactly what you're doing: trying to raise tech-wise, emotionally resilient kids in a culture that’s all gas, no brakes.
Having 2 or 3 like-minded adults in your corner can help you:
Stay grounded when your kid’s meltdown makes you question everything
Find language for boundary-setting that actually lands
Discover tools, apps, or agreements you’ve never heard of
Get reassurance that no, you’re not ruining your child’s life
Anchor your values when peer pressure starts up
Where to Find Your People
You don’t need 20 new best friends. You just need 2 or 3 real ones who get it. Start here:
School parent community – Is there a parent who’s also unsure about smartphones?
Faith group or spiritual circle – These often include parenting subgroups or values-based discussions.
Neighborhood text thread – Try sharing a screen time article to break the ice.
Book club or parenting class – Natural places to talk about raising kids with intention.
Wait Until 8th – A national movement to delay smartphones until at least 8th grade.
What to Talk About
Start simple. Try one of these conversation openers:
“Hey, what are you doing about phones at night? Where are you putting them?”
“Are you seeing this kind of behavior too?”
“We just tried a Family Tech Agreement. Have you ever done something like that?”
Normalize these chats. You might be shocked how many parents are relieved someone else brought it up first.
And once you start talking?
Don’t be surprised if other parents say, “Wait, you too? I thought I was the only one.”
In the UK, Parents Are Shifting the Norm Together
A recent New York Times article shared how parents in the UK felt the same fears we have in the U.S.—concern about screen time battles, mental health, and feeling alone.
So they made a Pact:
No smartphones until after 8th grade.
And guess what? It worked.
By banding together, these parents changed the social norms in their schools and communities. Collectively, a small number of parents can make a HUGE difference!
Suddenly, it wasn’t weird to delay smartphones. It was expected.
Getting together and chatting with other parents can switch the social norm so that in your school, community, town, county, state, even country it’s normal to let kids be kids without pocket-sized computers in their pockets.
Want tools to help you start?
Family Tech Agreement (Free Download) – A customizable, kid-friendly contract that sets clear, healthy boundaries around screen use—so everyone’s on the same page before a device enters your home.
The Five Circles of Online Safety – A simple framework to help parents introduce technology in stages, with built-in guardrails that grow as your child matures—like training wheels for digital life.
100 Boredom-busting Offline Activities for Kids – A kid-approved list of fun, screen-free ideas to keep kids engaged, creative, and connected to the real world—no Wi-Fi required.