Why you should read “The Anxious Generation” & what it means for your family
If you've been wondering why kids today seem more anxious, isolated, or emotionally fragile than ever before, this book connects the dots.
We highly recommend reading psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s new book, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.
It’s eye-opening, research-packed, and incredibly relevant for anyone raising, teaching, or working with kids and teens in the digital age. Here are the highlights:
What’s Causing the Rise in Youth Mental Health Struggles?
According to Haidt, the current epidemic of teen anxiety, depression, and loneliness isn’t just a coincidence. It’s the result of a massive shift—what he calls “the Great Rewiring of Childhood.”
And it happened fast.
Haidt makes the case that we’ve:
Over-parented kids in the real world (Think: supervised playdates, no walking alone, no physical risk-taking…)
And under-parented them in the digital world (Think: unsupervised screen time, open access to TikTok and YouTube, no filters or conversations about what they’re doing online…)
That combination—less real-world freedom + unlimited online exposure—has created a real challenges for our kids.
What Changed?
Two big shifts happened in kids’ lives around the same time:
The rise of smartphones and social media
The decline of outdoor, unsupervised, play-based childhoods
Kids stopped riding bikes and climbing trees, and instead, they started sitting still while scrolling, liking, and comparing themselves online.
The result?
A generation of children who are digitally connected but emotionally overwhelmed.
What Can We Do?
Haidt doesn’t just diagnose the problem. He offers clear, doable solutions. He outlines The Four Core Norms to support youth mental health and help families reset.
1. Delay Smartphones Until High School
“Just because they want a phone doesn’t mean they’re ready.”
Haidt recommends waiting until at least age 14 to give your child a smartphone.
You can still stay connected using a basic phone or smartwatch, but holding off on smartphones gives kids time to:
Develop social skills in person
Strengthen emotional regulation
Avoid the stress of being “always on”
Early teens are going through major brain development. This is a great time to build confidence in-person without the pressure of a constant digital spotlight.
2. Delay Social Media Until Age 16
“Protect the brain while it’s still forming.”
Social media platforms are designed for maximum interaction and engagement, not mental health. Algorithms deliver posts that are emotionally triggering.
Haidt suggests waiting until age 16 to allow access to apps like TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, and Snapchat.
Why?
Less exposure to social comparison during critical years
Reduced algorithm-driven content that feeds fear, body image issues, or misinformation
More time to build real-life friendships and communication skills
3. Make Schools Phone-Free Zones
“The school day should be a break from distractions like scrolling.”
One of the most practical recommendations: Keep phones out of schools.
That means no phones or smartwatches during class or lunch. From the beginning of the school day through the final bell - no distractions from phones.
Why it matters:
Fewer distractions = better learning
More face-to-face connection
Less drama, comparison, and social pressure
We’ve seen schools that go phone-free witness better behavior, better focus, and better friendships. Also - it’s louder again. Kids are chatting with each other. That’s a good thing!
4. Restore Real-World, Independent Play
“Let kids be kids again.”
This might be the most most fundamental shift for modern families:
Letting kids play unsupervised. Outside. With other kids. For hours.
Haidt argues that unstructured, real-world play helps children:
Build independence
Learn how to solve problems
Handle conflict without adults stepping in
Develop resilience and emotional confidence
It’s not about being reckless. It’s about remembering that climbing trees and building forts teaches life skills that no app ever will.
Reading The Anxious Generation can give you:
Understanding on a profound culture shift
Language to talk with your child about mental health and screens
Confidence to delay devices (you’re not the only one!)
Research to share with schools and other parents
A hopeful, realistic roadmap to help kids thrive
Ready to Dig In?
We recommend starting with The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, either the book or the audiobook.
And if you’re looking for tools to help implement these ideas:
Family Tech Agreement (Free Download) – A customizable, kid-friendly contract that sets clear, healthy boundaries around screen use—so everyone’s on the same page before a device enters your home.
The Five Circles of Online Safety – A simple framework to help parents introduce technology in stages, with built-in guardrails that grow as your child matures—like training wheels for digital life.
100 Boredom-busting Offline Activities for Kids – A kid-approved list of fun, screen-free ideas to keep kids engaged, creative, and connected to the real world—no Wi-Fi required.