My 4.5yo has a hard time when the screen time notification stops in the middle of a show, how do we help enforce the timer boundary?

How many of us can relate to being mad when we’re cut off in the middle of a fun activity? (me!)

How can you help your child avoid this “cut off” feeling?

• Set your timer or Alexa/Google/Siri so your child can get more frequent warnings that time is almost over

• Talk about not starting new shows when the timer has less than x minutes

• Give an example of how bad you’ve felt when you get cut off in the middle of something fun and what you do to cope (and ask what they could do)

• Talk about their limits in terms of how many shows that will give them. Ex: “You have 1 hour on the timer so that gives you 2 shows. If you start a 3rd show it’s going to stop in the middle and you know how bad that feels. You should just do two shows if you don’t want to be disappointed.”

• Try to give a screen time that allows for one or two shows, instead of a set time like 30 minutes that might cut them off.

• Have the next offline activity already set up for them to make the transition easier. It’s helpful when it’s something fun, like going to the pool, eating lunch or seeing a friend. You can strategically place your “fun stuff” right after screen time to lessen the anger or disappointment.

What do I say to start to limit screen time?

Here’s what this could sound like.
“I am really excited about summer time and all of the extra freedom we get to have as a family. One of the things I've been thinking about is being intentional with our time this summer. not just your time, but my time too.

Sometimes I get distracted with screens and social media and texting and things that I'm doing on my phone and I realize that I want to be more intentional. So what I'd like to do is have a family meeting to talk about reducing screen time this summer and adding some fun family things and some fun creative things for you that help us be intentional this summer.

I don't like reminding you to put down your phone all the time. What I want to do this summer is to make that go away, to not have me be nagging you about screen time.

It's really important to me as your parent that you're mindful about what you're doing online and it doesn't take over your day. You know I love you and I want what's best for you and it doesn't always line up with what you want.

I know you're growing up and I respect that you deserve more responsibility and freedom as you're growing up, but this is a process and there are some safety things with screens and some mental health concerns with screens that make me really want to make this a priority this summer. I need your input on what I’m thinking about to really make this work for us as a family.”

Remember - this is not a “one and done” conversation. This is a series of conversations. It’s okay if they don’t like it. Give them time to process. They may push back hard to see if you’re serious. You’ve got to have your resolve be strong and continue asking for less time and negotiating the details.
Most importantly, you’re going to show up with a soft tone and openness to how this could look.