What you’re really allowing when you let your child have a phone in their bedroom overnight
Imagine this: You're tucking your child into bed, helping them plug in their first smartphone to charge.
It seems harmless. After all, they're growing up. They’re responsible. You trust them.
But let’s zoom out for a second.
Because what you’re really giving them isn’t just a phone. It’s access to a lot of dangerous things.
You're handing them:
A portal to porn
A channel for hateful messages
A marketplace for illegal drugs
A digital playground where mean and hateful comments roam freely
A direct line to predators, scammers, hackers, and AI bots trained to keep them hooked
An excuse to not sleep
You're asking them to manage it all alone. At midnight. While you sleep.
It’s not fair.
These devices are engineered to be addictive. Every ping, swipe, and scroll is designed to grab their attention and keep it for longer than they intend.
And here’s the reality:
We’re not just giving our kids access to the adult world. We’re giving them adult-sized responsibilities long before they’re developmentally ready.
“But My Child Knows Better!”
Maybe…
But even good kids with strong values can get caught up in the algorithmic web of:
Sextortion schemes
Online bullying
Disappearing messages and “private” group chats
Apps that let you comment anonymously
Comparing themselves to others
Addictive video content
And when they mess up (which they will) they may not tell you.
Let’s Change the Norm - watch this 1 minute video
This PSA called “Let’s Change the Norm” from Smartphone Free Childhood US said it best: “Childhood is too precious to be spent on a screen.”
And the research backs it up:
Youth who spend 3+ hours on social media daily double their risk of anxiety and depression (U.S. Surgeon General, 2023)
The FBI says financial sextortion is the fastest growing cybercrime targeting children
13% of Instagram users aged 13–15 reported receiving unwanted sexual advances in just one week (Instagram internal report)
So What Can You Do?
You don’t need to give up on all technology.
But you can help change the norms by:
✅ Keeping ALL devices out of the bedroom overnight
✅ Delaying giving your child a smartphone until they’re developmentally ready (14 years old is the new guidance)
✅ Using a Family Tech Agreement to set healthy guardrails
✅Starting with a locked down first phone (not a smartphone) - here are first phone options
✅Delaying social media (16 years old is the new guidance)
✅ Blocking downloads and filter internet access
✅ Using parental control tools—and more importantly, have ongoing conversations
✅ Connecting with other parents who are doing the same “slow-tech” parenting
You Are Not Alone
Parents around the globe are wrestling with when to give their kids phones and many end up caving in before they want to, because they don’t want their child to feel left out. (Here’s an article on what to do if your child is feeling left out because they don’t have a phone yet.)
Together we can make a difference and shift the norms in our communities so that kids can be kids for longer, without all the pressures that smartphones bring.